Victim! OMG! Could that be me?

I am surprised that I am writing this blog. On the surface, the Ghomeshi case was interesting – the results predictable – but what did it have to do with me? Nothing – or so I thought at first. But as I read all the media reports and the details of Judge Horkins’ ruling, a sinking feeling began to hit home. It was the one word constantly written and spoken about in this case, “victim”. Why am I becoming fixated about it?

But first, I have to put in my two cents worth about those who sabotaged the credibility of so many women who really are abused.

Some slob flops her breasts for the TV cameras as she confronts the Crown, her body painted with messages no one can read. Did her actions help women who really are victims? Of course not. Cheered on by a Quebec contingent of chanters she and the group sought publicity for themselves – they needed to feel important. Most women cringed. Most men laughed.

Is there a special set of rules for those who claim to be victims? Well Junior buys into that. Remember Mulcair and his two female MP’s who claimed sexual harassment by two Liberal MP’s last year?   One of the lady NDPer’s had no problem admitting that she went to a motel room to meet the man and that she had no problem giving him one of the condoms she carried in her purse for him to use. She got undressed and into bed with him but then claimed harassment. Junior fired him and the other MP without a trial, or any semblance of an investigation. Nice. Is that justice?

Three women waited ten years until Ghomeshi was front page over his CBC activities before they came forward with allegations – accompanied by their own litigation lawyers. During the trial, we all heard the facts – perjury, collusion and 5,000 emails talking about what they were going to agree to say in order to ”get Ghomeshi”. Is that okay?

Do any of us really want to be at the mercy of unproven allegations? This is Canada, and in our country, all of us are entitled to protection under the law. The case against Ghomeshi fell apart NOT because the system was rigged but because ALL three accusers failed to tell the truth.

This morning I listened to a radio interview with the first ‘victim’. She said that she took one for the team”. What does that mean? What team is that? She lied – she was caught. Does that help her team? Should they all be canonized simply because they are females and Ghomeshi is a male?

And now the “leaders” of the women’s movement have come out of the woodwork. Which women’s movement is that? The Toronto Star was right there fanning the flames – and I must quote two of the “experts” they chose to publish.

One is Lenore Lukasik-Foss – chair of the Ontario Rape Crisis Centre. Her criticism of the judge’s ruling that the ‘victims’ testimony was not credible because they had lied and colluded would be funny if it wasn’t so scary. She said:

Common knee-jerk rape myths. The judge’s thorough discrediting of the complainants is surprising and very concerning for me”. Facts. Rape wasn’t one of the charges. She also forgot to mention the perjury and collusion.

Another unbelievable comment from Nneka MacGregor, Women’s Centre for Social Justice.

“Cases like this will always have this type of result because the system is so broken. I knew this was going to happen. It’s a wonder women come forward knowing what we know of how they’re going to be treated.” Also no comment by her about the perjury and collusion.

Do these organizations get government funding? Even McWynne, despite her history with McGuinty and Ornge and deleted emails and Hydro One has to be having another look.

And the Trailer Park ‘victim’? The interview she gave W5 last night was quite pitiful. Ironically, she and her cohorts could wind up with the very publicity that they all dreamed of at the outset.

Of course the media will play up these ‘victims’ claims of unfair treatment. Too bad. The media should ignore the publicity seekers and do stories about women and children who really do need help. I predict that Ghomeshi will be convicted of the next charge no matter what the evidence is. Political correctness will win the day.


And now my comments about the word… VICTIM – a description I never thought of in terms of myself.

Something about the Ghomeshi case – something about the commentaries keep jogging my brain – reminding me of words spoken and advice given to me 25 years ago. Advice I ignored.

In January I went to Oshawa to help in the by-election of MPP Lorne Coe – who won. When my friends and I walked into the campaign office I was immediately approached by the campaign’s co-chair.

“Hi Mrs. Starr”, she said. “I’m so glad to finally meet you. Thanks for travelling so far to help us. And I still have the fridge magnet”.

Now, for those of you who are wondering what the magnet is all about, you are too young to continue reading this blog. For the rest of you – it was a set-up that changed the course of history – at least for me.

And the term Victim, being overused and bandied about by so many relevant to Ghomeshi, suddenly hit home for me. Being a victim covers more than sexual contacts. It has to do with following the old path of female expectations – of seeing men as heroes and as loyal protectors.

Over the years so many people commenting about the Starr Affair have said, “you were really set up and screwed over”. I would protest, loudly and consistently, “no, I wasn’t set up. I’m not that stupid. I did what I had to do – I knew what I was doing”. But now, so many years later, I know that it was a cover for my idiocy in believing that loyalty was paramount – and that it went both ways.

Peterson, McNaughton, Nixon, Borg, Silcox, Grafstein, Scott, Webster, Atkinson, Green, Mendelow, Smitherman, and a Developer or two. All men.

I thought that some were friends – that others were political associates. Five years later I learned that some went after me by talking to the police – others by not talking to the police – others by leaking false information, usually about their friends, and giving me the credit – others by out and out lies. A few of them credited me with antics that would have necessitated my communicating with all of you from a jar at the University of Toronto’s research facility.

It is 25 years later – too late for regrets. Why did I keep quiet and why did I agree to accept those ridiculous pleas in order to “end the chaos”? I was a fool – I believed them – they were smarter than me.

Did some of them succeed politically because of me? For sure.

Did some of them make money because of me? Yes.

Did some benefit from municipal, provincial and federal grant approvals because of me? Yes.

Did some get re-zonings because of me? Yes.

Did I help the community raise millions? I sure did.

But, at the end of the day, I had no defender among them.

“Be quiet – this too shall pass” they promised. It never passed for me. They got away with all of it. I paid for all of it. Is there a statute of limitations on that stuff?

This Ghomeshi brouha has resonated with me. It has made me realize that I became what I never wanted to be – a Victim.  Time to change all that.