The first time that publisher Jack Stoddart and his senior executives referred to me as an author, an involuntary giggle escaped from my lips. Deep in my heart, I didn’t believe them. I thought of myself as only a temporary visitor in the literary world; someone who had been at the heart of Ontario’s biggest political scandal and was going to put to paper the experiences and personal anguish of three years… and then return to the real world.
But a funny thing happened along the way. I got hooked; hooked on the incredible challenge of putting ideas and vague scenarios that were floating around in the back of my brain into words that would interest someone other than me. My journey from a novice to an internationally published author has been up, down, and all around, but eventually, I made it. So join me, and I’ll share some of the ride with you.
There was a first step. Twenty years ago I needed to introduce myself to the THING… the BLACK SCORPION OF TORTURE…the COMPUTER.
How will I move paragraphs without pushing the wrong button and erasing hours of work? What does that ping noise mean? And that message of mind numbing horror – “the LPT1 is showing an error – the document has been deleted”.
I’m one of those people who had never used a computer before. I tried to read the “how-to” books but I couldn’t understand them. When I practiced on gibberish that I typed into the computer, everything always worked…on the gibberish. On one occasion, I hit the INSERT button without realizing it and typed over ten pages of my manuscript before I looked up at the screen.
So, what does one do? Call a computer expert. Right. Try and find one. Call your brilliant son who can create web pages and is a scholarly genius. He talks so fast I can hardly decipher his words much less understand what he’s saying.
“Don’t you people understand anything?” he says to me, his mother. “Why do I have to tell you something one hundred times and then you still don’t get it?” Nice, very nice.
After the publication of my first book, I learned what the Holy Grail is in the world of writing. Promotion! Promotion! Promotion! All new authors have been there. It’s “hit the road and sell your book!”
I traveled to book signings, radio and TV appearances, and speaking engagements around the country. It meant motel rooms and eating alone. Not so bad. It was a nice change from a hectic life, at least temporarily.
When I was asked to appear on FRONT PAGE CHALLENGE (do any of you remember that show?) I, who had always been afraid of flying, had the choice of either flying to Vancouver to promote my book, or staying at home. Naturally my publisher expected me to go, fear or no fear. So I went. It was five hours of flying alone, clinging to the arms of my seat, all the while afraid to get up and use the washroom for fear of shifting the weight balance in the plane.
“Pretty intelligent,” were the words of the Air Canada pilot when I left him a copy of my book in gratitude for landing on solid ground.
“Now, don’t go out until after the show is taped,” admonished the young producer when I arrived at the TV studio. “We can’t take a chance that one of our panelists will see you somewhere and recognize you.”
What were the chances of bumping into Pierre Berton or Alan Fotheringham on the streets of Vancouver? I never did get to see much of Vancouver on that trip but I did go back years later. What a fabulous city!
And then, there are the book signings. Talk about panic and cold fear. It may look like fun, but let me tell you that no matter how many times you go through it, the butterflies and stress are pervasive.
Why am I here? Your publisher made you come.
What if no one shows up? A sickening thought.
I’ll never do this again. I can’t take it. Of course you will – it is part of being a writer.
And then, after what seems like an eternity, someone does show up. With a friendly smile and encouraging words, they shyly hand you one of your own books to sign. Then, miracle of miracles, someone else gets in line, and then, someone after that. Two hours later, the bookseller is happy, your publisher is happy, and you’re happy too – and confident… until the next time.
As an internationally published author, I was soon invited to join the Writers’ Union and the Crime Writers of Canada (CWC). They are a very talented group of Canadian authors, supportive and friendly, who provided me with a learning experience that has meant so much.
Professional writers are so interesting away from their work. Actually, they are NEVER away from their work. At the bi-monthly meetings of the CWC, usually beginning in a pub followed by some form of food, the talk around the tables is intense; one’s latest ideas, current and past works, and the cost of drinking properly. There is commiseration about lousy agents, mean publishers, the unappreciative Canadian public, and the fact that, “yes, despite it all, this is still the only way to live”. They were writers and they all believed that they would make it, eventually. Many of them did.
Today, as I am finishing my third novel, I have finally found a comfort level in my writing. I am less concerned about sending a message than writing a good story; a story that is any easy read with good characters and compelling plots, but with a commercial reward always in mind.
And what about reaching the age of sixty, and beyond?
Been there, done that. If I like it I do it, if I don’t I won’t. Who cares what people think?
I go with the flow. It’s not where I expected to be, but hey, it’s been a helluva ride!
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