Social Media for this Grandmother!  Help!  – a two-part tale of horror and redemption

As most of you know, my fourth book, The 3rd Hole, is being published in April.  Last August I met with Greg Ioannou of Iguana Books and we made the deal.  Hurray! It has been ten years since my last novel, Final Justice was published.  And oh how the world has changed since then.

At my first meeting with Iguana’s staff, all of whom were obviously teenagers, they talked about the new reality of today’s publishing world.  Facebook – Twitter – Linked-In – social networking, yada, yada as the only way to sell books.

Luckily my genius son was with me.  He was putting his company, Newbox Solutions, at my disposal to help me navigate through this new territory.  Well, it didn’t exactly work out that way.  It was quickly decided that I would not be doing any navigation – he would have to do it for me.

Before I continue with this saga, I have to fess up to all of you.  I only have a cell phone.  If it rings, I answer it and say “hello”.  When I’m done, I close it.  I don’t do texting, i-pads, i-phones, nor do I carry around a pad that you slide your fingers along and all kinds of colourful icons pop up.  I am the butt of jokes and derision not only from my children, but now from my grandchildren. Nine year old Koby  can barely contain his disdain for his “brain limited Bubbie”.

Anyhow….. I read newspapers from around the world  so in order to get my name out there, I was told to post comments on their sites about the articles that I read -this allows one to pretend that they are an editor or a critic – so I was quickly set up to do just that –via Facebook and Disqus.

Oh, what fun.  I can write anything I want, I can criticize, I can praise, I don’t have to worry about editors. Yahoo!

On my Facebook page I use a nice picture of me and my two year old granddaughter, Jona. Naturally I am given instructions on how it works.  I listen, but hey, I’m smart.  I can figure it out.

A week later I get an irate call from my son.

“What did you do?” he shrieks.  “I told you that anything you post on Facebook goes everywhere, to everyone who can access your Facebook or that of anyone you communicate with!”

I didn’t post anything”, I answered. “I just typed a message in the box specifically under Mrs. X’s picture where it says to reply”.

 “No, it wasn’t specifically to Mrs. X!” he yelled. “I told you. It goes everywhere.  And why did you have to refer to her son-in-law as brainless?

And there is something else to remember, Mommy dearest.  If you post a comment about the articles you read in any of the media sites that use Facebook, whatever you say will be posted for everyone to see.  And everyone means everyone! So at least watch your language!”

The truth is that I still didn’t understand what he meant.  I did notice all the pictures of people I didn’t know or their friends on my Facebook page and I was surprised by some of the language they used.  But I couldn’t remember what the three rows running down the page were about…one was private, one was public and I think the third was advertising – but by now I was afraid to ask.  I’m sure some of you reading this blog are nodding your heads in agreement.  Don’t hesitate to commiserate with me.

Okay, forget Facebook I decide.  Post comments on Disqus only.  That won’t pop up on my Facebook.

And so I launched my Disqus career – it is now five weeks old – I have over 800 likes – I was just posted in the Zimbabwe Daily News. I hope the National Post, the New York Post, the London Daily Mail and the Toronto Sun have noticed that I am their biggest draw – I’ll remind them when The 3rd Hole is released – maybe they’ll do a nice story.

But wait!!!! Something has happened.  I just got some insults via Disqus from people using funny names –names like  beezlebub, mineisbiggerthanyours, jung loo-loo, ponyexpress, meinbigd  to name a few. I am totally stunned at their language – but of course, they are using phony names and I am using my own.  So no one is going to give them the kind of hard time that my son will give me if I answer them in kind, which I REALLY want to do…but I won’t.

So, I have decided to post my most controversial comments in my next blog – along with the insults – for you to read and decide if I deserved them.  And of course, your own comments are so welcome.  See you in a few days.

Continue to part 2